Reply to AKITA SILVERLEAF:

Oh and what's really weird but probably connected both to trauma and to my being so young, and to my horrible memory, I don't remember much of my life at all. I know it happened, but I can't remember it

the moderation of emotion is kinda connected to everything, including the anger issues & the feeling numb, nothing, like nothing's real, almost like I'm not even myself, it's really weird but happens a lot, I need to do research on it... the feeling everything at once is also related to moderation of emotion... the trauma (I'm not getting into all of that bc it's...well, it's like something I'd give my ocs..) has kinda hightened everything, there's some PTSD in there, self blame, a lotta anxiety, etc.

Soo yeah. I suppose the web analogy makes sense

Reply to ❄︎ 𝚆𝙾𝙻𝙸𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙾 (Help wanted) ❄︎:

Dw about communication, I understand!

Hmm well, I guess, kinda? It all is kinda connected, with each issue not really truly being separate... (Here we go into all the psychoanalysis..)

the ADHD is related to the chasing dopamine and not knowing how to stop, which is connected to self blame, which is connected to both depression & anxiety, the communication issues is more connected to the ADHD, anxiety, and other issues, plus it doesn't help when it feels like you're living in a different world, it also feeds into the depression some. Ig we haven't found the cause behind those...

Reply to AKITA SILVERLEAF:

Web

sorry sirry sorye sbad way of communication but i dont know how else to say

web

as in spider's web

figuratively

sounds a bit like what you're describing with "I feel nothing, then everything at once"... mixed together with other topics?

web

seen

Reply to ❄︎ 𝚆𝙾𝙻𝙸𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙾 (Help wanted) ❄︎:

Ty! It's been something that helps a lot to describe stuff...and to let things out in a more healthy way Ig? Idk but I like it!

True! And in a way, I've found some places! Poetry, definitely is one of them! And I've been trying to find them...

As for my situation, for the most part I'm fairly open (other than some specific topics ofc, or if I'm talking to one of those "mental health is for clinically insane" people which I believe doesn't apply here), I don't mind talking about it. Most of it is a lot of severe anxiety, depression, ADHD, communication issues, a lil trauma, etc. I also have 0 moderation of emotion, which causes a lot of issues. We're working on it though! Just trying to fix the good old "I feel nothing, then everything at once".

Ty! And yeah, I hope so, I'm trying to find those "wheres", it's tricky but we're getting there!

This is beautiful. Your use of poetry to convey your feelings is very impressive.

Something I've found is that "where" is actually many places. Finding different forms of solace and different forms of understanding are both important. Actually, this poetry, this outlet, is one of those "where"s. If you can find more of these wheres, you may be able to find healing- at least to some extent. I can't help, as I don't know how to read (or communicate at all) abstract thoughts, and don't know your exact situation. I won't intrude anyways, unless you want to share. But I believe in you to understand yourself, and to understand all these feelings and thinkings. I believe in you to find solace- in escapism; in art; in anything you find, as long as it doesn't hurt you. You can find your wheres. Just give yourself a chance.