Ranting incoming, don't read if you don't wish-

Work generally is great! I love my job- I mean I work in a library, a dream for a fantasy/book obsessed person, right? Well yeah... and it's cool. Most of my co-workers are cool too- (Not meaning to brag about my job, I seriously do enjoy it but anyways just trying to lay things out for explanation).

But uh... There's these two co-workers. Personally felt neutral towards them, seemed fine enough, knew them from school. For whatever reason they decided to either just target me or hate me, unsure which.... Constantly saying the usual stuff of "weirdo" "so quiet" "kinda useless" "sensitive" "why is 'she' doing that" "ooh see how red 'her' face is!" "haha look at 'her'" blah blah blah. I mean... I get that stuff a lot, I've dealt with my fair share of people like that, probably should be able to handle it by now, but uh...my level of actually handling something instead of internalizing it and pretending it doesn't exist is not that high lol... I've been working on it, but when I'm dealing with a whole host of other stuff, I have no patience for "dealing with it". I'm an odd one with terrible regulation, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, and possible ASD (testing takes an eternity.... 4 hour appointments wth???), I get it, but YOU'RE LITERAL ADULTS. YOUNG ADULTS BUT STILL ADULTS. ACT LIKE IT. EVERY SINGLE STORMING DAY I'M AT WORK, I DON'T NEED YOUR JUDGEMENTS KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

I mask at work, just get everything done as much as possible, maybe chat with the other people who help manage crafts/cataloging, and leave. I'm just doing my job. Somehow they decided to make a 6 hour shift frustrating because of this stuff.... I did nothing to them! Maybe that is being sheltered and sensitive to complain about that but come on! I just...why. I'm just trying to survive life with migraines, mental health issues, bad sleep (I really need to fix my sleep schedule...) and 6 hour shifts.... Act like adults and do your own job.

Also dealing with the screaming children who ask the most off color absurd things just to annoy an employee make me want to either claw my own ears off or stab something. All throughout the library, running and screaming and backtalk no matter how many times they're told to quiet down or take it outside. And sometimes they'll wreck a book or steal one or break into our offices or mess with the computers....

Also not work related but grandparents are....GREAT. Absolutely wonderful! Not obsessive, manipulative, toxic, or gossiping about me & those I care about at all! Mainly the grandmother... she even bragged about guilt tripping and manipulating me to her friends, thought that would fly, said "technically you should be dead you weren't supposed to be alive" told everyone about a friend who she questioned me for a solid 30 min to get info on, decided that forcing me to do things I didn't want to was the best option "No, you have to sit here, oh and yeah you'll feel a little trapped it'll be fine, he has to sit here!" (at church), told me to stop being anxious and just talk to people "smile smile smile it isn't that hard! Just believe in God more!" (Lady I literally have a chemical imbalance in my brain), a whole lot of questioning about everything about me and my personal life (obsessive), wants me to be their perfect "girl" (also obsessive), said a bunch of.... very disheartening stuff. Plus a lot of....touching (just hugs and grabbing my shoulder and poking and stuff, it's just, I hated it to begin with, had some trauma attached to physical touch as well...) Stayed there recently, screwed up sleep schedule because I couldn't get any sleep between stress and overstim (I swear everything in the place makes the loudest amount of noise possible).

Also.

"Do you keep your room that clean?" when I straighten something out. Uh no but my room WOULD be clean if it weren't for executive dysfunction... "Then you have no right to straighten things out" *Later complains about that thing being messy*

I was trying to help you, lady...

I hate people sometimes.

I'm done.

Moral of the story/TLDR: I'm too tired to put up with people.