1. The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do!

Actually, I'm pretty sure the bell does dismiss me. And if it doesn't and the bell really is as irrelevant as you say it is then why am I being subjected to listening to its annoying, high-pitched tone 8+ times a day? Last time I checked, the school day runs on a schedule, and it's not my problem if you can't stick

2. Pay attention class, you will use this for the rest of your life!

You do not know how many times I heard this in school in reference to things that I have NEVER used again in my life. Example: How to calculate the curve of a parabola, cursive writing, photosynthesis, how to write a haiku, how to play the recorder, how to drop an egg from a balcony and not break it...(Need I go on?). Maybe you should teach me how to do taxes or pay bills, cause I have no idea how to do that, and that shi8t is ACTUALLY useful. (well I kinda know to to pay taxes and add bills)

3. The class average for this test was really low. You're all going to have to study a lot harder next time.

If the whole class does shit8ty on an assignment, then maybe it's time to stop blaming them and start looking at yourself because you're probably either A) Grading way too hard, or B) You didn't teach the content well enough. If I ever did bad on a test it wasn't for lack of effort, it was probably because I just didn't understand.

4. Me: Can I go to the washroom? Teacher: No.

The only thing worse than the statement above is when you ask to go to the bathroom and the teacher says no or you should have gone during lunch. First off, lunch is for eating. Second, are you really going to make me uncomfortable for the rest of class and deny me the right of peeing just so I can listen to you blabber on about the quadratic formula or some other irrelevant shi8t? This is especially frustrating as a woman who sometimes has womanly problems that need to be tended to.

NEWSFLASH: If I didn't have to go, I wouldn't have asked you!