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K so I realized everyone else is venting and getting their feelings out rn- So I realized.
20 Dec 2023 23:04 by
💫✨ℤ𝕠𝕖 ℕ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕖💫✨
I need to vent at this moment. You don't need to read this, and idc if you do, but I could use some comfort, so if you could <3:
I have a lot of names for myself. But Christmas is looking real #$%@ for me. Everyone is happy around me and I'm just- here. I don't feel that happy. I feel desperate. I've been wanting something my entire life. There's been this desperate longing, and I had no idea what it was today. My friend asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "I have a family, I have friends, I have a life. What more do I need?" And my friend said, "Really? You don't even want felt pens?" Felt Pens. FELT PENS. So that's what people who have "normal" lives, unaffected by pain want for Christmas- And I realized there was one thing I wanted. I wanted my old life back. I want my carefree childhood. I want my old friends back, I want to go back and fix things between me and a few people. I had a choice y'know back then. I could've moved on completely and forgotten the past, or I could embrace the path I was on and continue with the past. I embraced it, I couldn't let go. So I'm sick of my mask that I hide behind. Like my d@mn emotions don't matter. I'm sick of being the happy girl. And maybe I should just open up- Rip off the mask. Like wtf I don't care anymore. What's there to care anymore?
💫✨ℤ𝕠𝕖 ℕ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕖💫✨
- 21 Dec 2023 00:46
Reply to Cece:
I decided to embrace my path instead of paving a new one. That was the choice I made, I embraced it because it was either forget the past and move on like life was still totally normal, or embrace it and I ended up here- And honestly I don't really regret that choice, in some ways I do- but ya know, I learned so much, so much pain, but so many good friends
Reply
Cece
- 21 Dec 2023 00:06
The choices you make, lead to your ultimate destiny to put good into the world and save our planet
Cece
- 21 Dec 2023 00:05
At first reading this, the emptiness makes me wonder if your searching for someone.
I know you want to fix things from the past, but we can't do anything about it. As we get older we reflect on our past and regret so many things, and that is true. The thing is, we also grow from it. So instead of seeing it as something bad, see it as a growing opportunity, as a pointer for friends in the future. There is a reason we do things in life, whether we know why in that moment, or years later, but I personally believe the choices we make, determine our life path. Every choice we make, leads up onto a new path, but in some cases a choice can put us back on the path you were before. But that isn't good.